If Waiters Were Honest With You

I know what you're thinking. With this face, I was born into radio. Nope. I was born into the food industry.

My first job was washing dishes in my Dad's pizza joint. I was underage, but it was the

late 70s early 80s, child labor was in vogue. (Thanks fashion industry) I didn't mind, it gave me money to help support my gambling habit.

Of course, my natural talent had me moving up the ranks very quickly. Strange how it always happened just after my birthday. Soon I was busing tables, then I was making the pizza's, then suddenly I was cooking the pies. Nothing like a hot headed Irishman banishing a sharp 16" knife near hot ovens. What could go wrong. I was as shocked as anyone when I was fired. Hey! If you talk to me with a condescending tone, expect it thrown back at you. I don't feel I should've been punished for being more of an ass than the customer. If you don't want the truth, don't ask.

Key to food industry success...Lie...fake laugh...Lie some more. Plus, never spit in a persons food, while they're looking.

Buzzfeed put together a little skit of what it would be like if the people serving you said what they were thinking. Seems to hit home perfectly. I'm amazed anyone eats out anymore these days. I'm even more surprised people still act like asses to the people bringing them their food.