Valentine’s Day: Wedding Proposal Round Up.

Mine wedding proposal was simple: we were having a big fight, I couldn't figure a way out of the situation, BOOM, marriage proposal, fight over, wife distracted till the next fight. PHEW. Romance? Who needs that?

These guys make the rest of us look bad. You just can't drop to one knee and make with the proposal anymore. How gauche! No, you gotta be the Cecil B. DeMille of popping the question. The world must stop at that moment, as fireworks, jet planes and doves of all shapes and sizes fly out of your every orifice. The sky must catch fire in a blazing rainbow of love. Your intention must sparkle like a million stars shoved in a hall closet. Or you suck, basically. Take this guy:

So much thought, so much planning. Come on, man, what's wrong with spur of the moment? Every women who sees this is gonna expect SO MUCH SENSITIVITY! Frozen? Really? Why can't a proposal be something you knock off on the sofa in between pints of Lowenbrau during a greatest Hobo Fights Marathon?

Then there's this:

Seriously, bro? Choreography? Dozens of dancers? TRAIN? C'mon. Take her to the Arby's, you know, treat her special, and propose in the drive thru like a MAN.

How about this:

FIRE ENGINES? HELICOPTERS? What's next? A fake fire?

What do you people think this whole proposal thing is anyway? Something out of a movie?

Uh-oh.

I'm glad I got in under the wire before the internet and Youtube and sky high expectations I could have never met. Would I do it the same way again? Of course not. Am I lying? Yes. Mine was off the cuff, skin of my teeth and stinky with desperation. It set the tone for the marriage that followed.Yup. Set the bar low, I always say.

Bah!

P.S: If you like this stuff, our friends over at Popsugar have a video of Epic Wedding proposals you might wanna CHECK OUT.

Whatever.