Back at the end of Sunday, I pulled five random movies off the shelf with my eyes elsewhere, with the aim to spend the week reviewing them. So far we've had some classics, some best picture nominees and winners, and, uh, the third Matrix movie. Today we go Full Popcorn. With Vampires, the dad from Gilmore Girls and yes, the two Coreys. Let's proceed, Michael.

The Shelf (photo still by me and my awful camera phone thing)
The Shelf (photo still by me and my awful camera phone thing)
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Listen, I'm no movie snob. Sure I like a movie that has depth and nuance, one that's rich in character and detail, that grows and changes with you each time you watch it. However, I also like the kind of movie that's akin to strapping you to a rollercoaster that slam you around in circles, hurtles you through a few walls and generally gits to blowin' %$#@# UP REAL REAL GOOD!

Ahem.

Today we put all logical thought aside and we talk of spectacle, of leather clad, hairsprayed vampires throwing themselves through the air, of a random Rob Lowe poster in something called "a video store", of the Frog Brothers, teen vampire hunters operating out of comic book store, of water guns loaded with holy water, of lines like "death by stereo!" and 'YOU MADE ME A KILLLLLEERRR!"  Yeah, all that. And Jamie Gertz. Do you smell garlic? It's:

 

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Do I really need to a plot recap for this? Two kids, 25 year old high school student and Jim Morrison understudy Jason Patric (Speed 2) and his brother Haircut Permadoof, I mean Corey Haim (Lucus), move with their mom to seaside murder capital of the world, Santa Carla to live with their comic relief Grand Dad, Duece X, Macenna. She works under Rori Gilmore's dad at the store, they tussle with Snarley McHaircut, lead vampire boy and future Jack Bauer, Keifer Sutherland. And that's about it. Even if you've never seen this movie, you could take those scant details, write this in your head and come pretty darn close to The Lost Boys script. I mean, it's 1987, what else do you need on a Saturday afternoon at the Cinema Googleplex?

This was directed by Joel Shumacher, the man who wrote Car Wash, the man who made THAT Batman movie, and all I can figure is somebody must have had a real tight leash on this dude, cos this is actually a fairly decent, funner than heck movie. Sure, near the end, it confuses filling the soundtrack with as much sudden loud noise as possible with the creation of suspense, and a few weirdly uneeded swooping crane shots are scattered here and there (the family goes in for a hug at the end SWOOOP!) but Shumacher keeps his flamboyant tics in check in service of the film. Maybe the movie is so great because it was photographed by Michael Chapman, the dude who shot Taxi Driver, Raging Bull and, eh, Space jam. Cos damn, The Lost Boys looks way WAY better than it has any right to. Seriously. There is some fantastic widescreen eye candy on display. Even when it's just vampires and toilets exploding.

Sure most of the dialogue is laughably goonball, the bad guys are really bad at being bad guys, and oh, that last bit with the "head" vampire...storywise, it get's a lazy ehhhh. And did the main makeup take the day off?

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Anyway, if you haven't given this a watch in a long time, check it out, it's a hot buttered bucket of silly, with Raisinettes on top. And a Mister Pibb. Through a Red Vine.

And that's The Lost Boys.

Tomorrow, it's our final episode, also a classic:

P.S: If you are just settling into your seat and missed the third installment of this series, you can find that right here: HERE!

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