Dave In The Cave’s First Celebrity Crush!

Hey there, our Jamie Garrett dropped a bomb on us today. I don't we'll ever look at him the same way again. Turns out his first celebrity crush was Debbie "Electric Youth" Gibson. That bends the noodle. Cos he was ten. I wasn't ten in 1988. I was, in fact, much older than that and doing this. About a half an hour's drive from where I'm typing this. What really makes me feel worse, is who my celebrity crush was when I was at his age. Kinda, I dunno, embarrassing?

I mean, let's blame it on Walt Disney. They released Freaky Friday in 1976. I was nine. I saw the movie and...right there and then my taste in girls was signed, sealed and delivered. Why? Dunno. Jodie Foster in the movie is blonde, towheaded, athletic (played on the girl's field hockey team) sarcastic, fun. The kind of girl you'd wanna climb a tree with. Ride bikes with. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE, DAVE?

And did I mention she rides a skateboard in the movie. This firmly set "my type" in my brain, setting me on a course for life, looking for the tomboy. And if they were a "sassy swindler", all the better!

However, another component that somehow snapped into place, don't ask why. The tomboy has to be smart. Like, Jodie Foster spoke fluent French. And she had range, she was in Taxi Driver, she sang and went all Peggy Lee in Bugsy Malone, and all this happened in a one year period. I didn't cotton to stupid slackers!

That's the same girl from Freaky Friday? What? And what about this? Also from 1976.

Wacky.  Anyway, turns out a lot of other guys were tuned into this wavelength, the tomboy type that also included Tatum O'Neal and Kristy McNichol. I was crushing on the character from Freaky Friday at the same time I was carrying one for a similar girl in real life, girl on the soccer team, tall, blonde. Athletic. Never made that happen, but the dye was cast. The Tomboy.

There's an ATM in the town where I live. Behind that ATM is a tree stump. One day, while idling at the Church's drive thru next door, I looked over and noticed there was a lady tree trimmer suspended by ropes in the tree. She was holding a chainsaw. This was the hottest thing I'd ever seen. If a women can operate a power tool, swing a hammer or throw a punch, I'm sold.

And that's the story of my first celebrity crush.

Click the pic below for Jamie's, in case you wanna see how a normal person handles these things.