It's domestic duty time with The In The Cave Family! Come on along with us!  Ya see, Nothing in my house is ever, EVER easy. Something as simple as, say, washing a car, becomes something akin to a military operation. Just hop on down to the car wash? HA HA HA! Uh, no.

WASHING THE CAR, Step One: A) Finding The Money.

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  B) Where The $#@#! ARE MY KEYS? Also: Telling The Boy He Will Not Be Driving THIS TIME. That One Time Was Just Because Daddy Drank Too Much Cold Medication.

AHA! THE KEYS WERE BEHIND THE TOILET!
AHA! THE KEYS WERE BEHIND THE TOILET!
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C'MON, DAD! I'M EIGHT NOW! LET'S ROCK!
C'MON, DAD! I'M EIGHT NOW! LET'S ROCK!
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WASHING THE CAR, STEP TWO: YOUR DAUGHTER CHOOSES THE TUNES!

ARRRRGHHHHHH! THE TUNES!
ARRRRGHHHHHH! THE TUNES!
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Washing The Car, Step Three: Pre-Gaming. Remember kids, in any activity with the family, proper nutrition is of the utmost importance!

ONLY STUFF FROM THE DOLLAR MENU! ONLY STUFF FROM THE DOLLAR MENU! WE'RE ON A TIGHT BUDGET! NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE A SALAD! WHAT ARE YOU, A COMMIE?
ONLY STUFF FROM THE DOLLAR MENU! ONLY STUFF FROM THE DOLLAR MENU! WE'RE ON A TIGHT BUDGET! NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE A SALAD! WHAT ARE YOU, A COMMIE?
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MRRFGHHGLGHH...
MRRFGHHGLGHH...
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Washing The Car, Step Four: THE FOAMING. Very important that the youngest kid does this. Sure everything but the car is gonna be covered in pink foam and you've pretty much already failed at your primary task, getting the car clean. BUT THE FUN! THE FUN!

THE FOAM! THE FOAM!
THE FOAM! THE FOAM!
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SERIOUSLY, I THINK IT'S AGAINST THE LAW TO HAVE THIS MUCH FOAM IN ONE PLACE. REALLY.  I DON'T THINK THE KID EVER GOT TO THE REST OF THE CAR, THOUGH. BUT THAT ONE PART OF THE HOOD IS GONNA BE HELLA CLEAN.
SERIOUSLY, I THINK IT'S AGAINST THE LAW TO HAVE THIS MUCH FOAM IN ONE PLACE. REALLY.  I DON'T THINK THE KID EVER GOT TO THE REST OF THE CAR, THOUGH. BUT THAT ONE PART OF THE HOOD IS GONNA BE HELLA CLEAN.
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WASHING THE CAR, STEP FIVE: THE RISENING

This goes to the older kid, who will do a great job while the other kid gets thoroughly soaked, running like a caffeinated loon through every last bit of spray. Yup.

ALEX ON TOP OF THE SITUATION!
ALEX ON TOP OF THE SITUATION!
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THE, UH, SITUATION.
THE, UH, SITUATION.
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WASHING THE CAR, STEP SIX:

Post Game.

DID I MENTION THIS IS RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET?
DID I MENTION THIS IS RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET?
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SUN SET CONE TAP!
SUN SET CONE TAP!
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And that's how Dave In The Cave and his kids wash the car. It's an arduous, time consuming task, because we can't do things the easy way, ever. Tune in next week, when Dave and his kids will tackle another awful domestic chore, kidnapping the neighbor's cat for illicit medical experiments.

Just kidding. Ahahaha.

P.S: Hey, you know who else I consider a member of my family? Hall and freaking Oates. And speaking of them, did you know they are coming live to a movie theatre near you very very soon? It's true. Ultimate Classic Rock has the story for you, right HERE!

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