Big Q Didn’t Win the Lottery

There will be tons of stupid kids in this country from now on because I didn't win the lottery.

"You don't get a scholarship!"

"You don't get a scholarship!"

"You don't get a scholarship!"

"Nobody gets a scholarship!"

I also will not be able to afford the Stem Cell burger. Now I'll never be able to play professional football.

I did get a Powerball, so I won $4 dollars. And in America, that makes me a winner.

"Winning!"