Add New Jersey to the List of States We Can Get Rid of Thanks to This Poll

Florida.  California.  New Jersey?  Yes, add New Jersey to the this of states I'd like to see no longer part of the US.  Florida because they're stupid.  California because they're a cestpool of humanity.  New Jersey because.......

New Jersey, already a toxic dump site (and we're not just talking about Met Life Stadium!!), is showing signs of deformity in the brain after a recent poll showed the state saw Jon Bon Jovi beat out Bruce Springsteen as the state's favorite rocker.  True, it was a last-minute push on Twitter from Jon's brother, Matthew, that pushed Jon Bon Jovi over the top, but it happened.

They can't even use the excuse that it was robo-voting or the same person voting hundreds of times.  Only one vote was allowed per person, which meant more than 11,000 people took time to go online and tell the world they think Jon Bon Jovi is a better rocker than The Boss.  Sickening.

Don't get me wrong.  Give me one artist to listen to for the rest of my life and I'm going with the guy for MY generation, Jon Bon Jovi.  I grew up on Bon Jovi.  I only knew The Boss from Born in the USA going forward.  When I think of Bruce, I'm actually just as inclined to think of the movie soundtrack Boss.  Philadelphia's "Streets of Philadelphia" was all over MTV and radio when I was growing up.

So, for me, it was Bon Jovi.  I remember the exact moment my dad pulled up in the car blasting Slippery When Wet, making him the coolest dad of all time, and from there I was with the guys all the way through Bed of Roses.  Most fans had bailed and gone grunge by then, but I held on as long as I could.

Even with that being said, it's absolutely ludicrous to think that Jon Bon Jovi deserves the title of greatest New Jersey rocker.  I don't know why I'm taking this so personally.  I've only driven through New Jersey a few dozen times, never stopping for as much as a gallon gas, but this shows the general buffoonery of the state.

It shows people's collective memory to be skewed.  Jon Bon Jovi was a cartoon character barely on this side of Kiss.  Bon Jovi was more flash than substance.  More spandex than talent.  More hair spray than per follicle than any other rocker.

Bruce was of the people and for the people.  He may have become a little out of touch over the past two decades, but prior to 1995 he was still one of the biggest acts on the planet.  He was as distinguishable a voice in music as there was in the 70s and 80s.  His albums shifted the planetary alignment.

This poll's results show three possible scenarios for New Jersey.  One is the state's pollution and toxic waste has seeped into the water and is eating away at their brains.  Second is the possibility that Jon Bon Jovi fans have more free time (jobless) than Bruce's.  The last possibility is Delaware is throwing some shade on New Jersey by sabotaging the vote to make their neighbors look bad on purpose.